Today marks the 9th day that I've been formally employed full-time and I have to say that working for the Government is not really that bad.

I mean, the pay isn't too bad especially for fresh grads and I'd like to believe that the stress is less than in the private sector. Take into account the many perks that civil servants enjoy (including a 30-day annual leave) and the idea of being a civil servant just suddenly doesn't seem to shabby anymore, what with the economy being the way it is.

As of this moment, I'm happily settling myself down in the Good Manufacturing Practice department within the National Pharmaceutical Control Bureau. My job includes processing license applications from companies that want to manufacture, import or sell goods that are registered under the Pharmacy Board of Malaysia. I am also undergoing training to become a GMP auditor which goes around the country inspecting factories to ensure that your supply of Panadol doesn't contain a hearty dose of cadmium. My job also requires me to frequently call up obstinate companies and nag them to death about not supplying us certain documents and being generally unable to follow instructions. Dimwits.

I've also, uh, had a change of mind about the so-called laziness of civil servants. I was happily surprised that everyone in my department works very hard, frequently go beyond the scope of their duties and are generally very industrious workers. And from what I hear, it's the same in nearly every department in the NPCB. I believe this is due to the industriousness of the department heads. For some reason, the current crop of department heads are all rather hardworking and dedicated to their work, thus the pressure on us staff to follow in their footsteps. Staying in the office till 9pm is not a rare occurance. All in all, my image of civil servants has been shattered.

If you asked me, I'd say that I'm quite happy to be working for the bureau. However, there's always a little voice in my head asking me, what kind of a pharmacist sits in an office and shuffles piles of papers around? It's quite annoying, this little voice in my head. I call him Insecurity. He's a bastard. But yeah, I do wonder sometimes if I'm missing out on anything by not working in a hospital and if I'm really utilising my skills as a pharmacist. However, I always shut Insecurity up by telling myself that I'm doing work that only a pharmacist is legally allowed to do and when I become a fully qualified auditor, I'll be doing even more specialized work, requiring not only a pharmacist's skills but also a knack for investigation.

In a way, I believe that it's destiny. Perhaps I just have a different path than my other classmates.

So I'll just put my 100% into my job and hope for the best!

What is it?

Have I lost it? Or forgotten what it feels like?

Is it really worth it?

I don't know.

God damn.....I miss living in Glasgow.

Someone sponsor me to do a postgrad back in Strathclyde...and I'll be there in a heartbeat.

Away and free....haha, sorry Mom and Dad.

Edit

Ah.....fuck it la...I miss the whole of bloody Europe.